The Art of Pivoting: Navigating Change with Grace
This podcast episode delves into the transformative journey of personal growth and the necessity of embracing change, aptly encapsulated in the concept of the "pivot." We explore the significance of recognizing when one is stagnating and the imperative to adapt in order to foster progress, both personally and professionally. The dialogue traverses the challenges associated with stepping outside of one's comfort zone, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and resilience. We share candid reflections on individual experiences, highlighting the emotional complexities that accompany transitions and the need for supportive relationships during such times. Ultimately, this episode serves as a reminder that the path to fulfillment often necessitates a willingness to pivot, alongside a commitment to self-acceptance and understanding.
In this episode, King Christopher and SIr PJ dig deep into what it means to pivot. We share our deep thoughts and experiences on what it looks like and when is it time to do it. We talk about how our insecurities play a factor and even talk about removing yourself from people can help the process be successful based on our experiences and opinions.
This episode presents a compelling exploration of personal evolution and the challenges associated with transformative life changes. The conversation begins with Christopher revealing their recent decision to leave a job that no longer aligns with their aspirations. This pivotal moment is framed within the context of cosmic shifts, suggesting that these changes are not only personal but also influenced by larger astrological forces. Christopher expresses a profound sense of excitement and anticipation as they witness their long-held dreams beginning to materialize, a sentiment that resonates deeply with the listeners.
The dialogue shifts to a more intimate realm as Christopher recounts a recent significant experience, reflecting on themes of self-worth and confidence. Their candidness about personal relationships and the complexities of intimacy offers a rich tapestry of emotions that many can relate to. They delve into the nuances of vulnerability, emphasizing the need for open communication and mutual understanding in relationships. This segment encourages listeners to embrace their desires and acknowledge their fears, fostering a sense of empowerment.
As the conversation unfolds, the speakers touch upon the importance of community and the transformative power of shared experiences. They urge listeners to engage with the world around them, advocating for stepping outside comfort zones as a means of growth. The episode concludes with a powerful reminder that change is an integral part of life, and embracing these pivots can lead to new opportunities for joy and fulfillment.
Takeaways:
- The podcast emphasizes the importance of honest communication and vulnerability in relationships, fostering deeper connections between individuals.
- Listeners are encouraged to embrace personal transformations as a natural part of growth, highlighting the significance of patience and faith in the process.
- The hosts discuss the need for self-compassion during challenging times, stressing that feelings of inadequacy do not define one’s worth or potential.
- It is acknowledged that navigating the complexities of mental health can be daunting, yet support systems and self-awareness are crucial in overcoming obstacles.
- The conversation highlights the necessity of setting boundaries in personal and professional relationships to maintain mental well-being and self-respect.
- The podcast stresses that embracing change, even when uncomfortable, is essential for personal development and achieving one's goals.
Transcript
Until you.
Speaker A:It's been a week.
Speaker A:But we're here.
Speaker B:It's been a week.
Speaker B:No, interestingly enough, I'm in a space where I can fully talk about anything to do with my job and the new job and the old job and all of those things because I put in my notice.
Speaker B:So excited about that, too.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:That's awesome.
Speaker A:I'm so happy for you.
Speaker A:You've been talking about it.
Speaker A:Appreciate it.
Speaker A:I love it when people talk about things and actually get.
Speaker B:You know, I was.
Speaker B:I was saying this morning in the episode that I recorded about how all year long I've been hearing about these transformations and these shifts and everything in astrology has been talking about the full moons and the retrogrades and all the things about this transformation and about how just to be patient and remain faithful and how big things are coming.
Speaker B:And now it's like, lately it's just been happening back to back before my eyes, and everything's moving so quickly, and I'm like, wow, this is what I had been waiting for.
Speaker B:And it's like, oh, it's just like.
Speaker B:It's a really, like, exceptional experience.
Speaker B:And I'm excited and I'm grateful and it's all the things.
Speaker B:So, yeah.
Speaker A:For you.
Speaker A:I really do.
Speaker A:I really do.
Speaker B:And unrelated to all of those things, I had sex yesterday for the first time in quite some time for me.
Speaker B:Everybody else keeps making it seem like, oh, that's not a long time.
Speaker B:It was a long time for me.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And it was really good.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So, you know, I'm so happy.
Speaker A:I'm so happy for you.
Speaker B:I want to live by.
Speaker A:It has not been that way for me.
Speaker A:No, I love it.
Speaker A:I, I, I celebrate you.
Speaker B:Tired of this drought I need more.
Speaker B:I need more ass.
Speaker B:I need more bootsy head.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Wanna get started?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:All right, that's the last sip because there's nothing else in the cup.
Speaker B:Can you hear me?
Speaker A:Well, I can hear you.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:When you keep it.
Speaker B:I am hard.
Speaker B:I think I brought up sex.
Speaker B:And, like, now, like, I'm just hard.
Speaker B:Leave that in.
Speaker B:I'm kidding.
Speaker B:Take that.
Speaker B:Don't put that.
Speaker A:That's what he said.
Speaker A:Leave it in.
Speaker A:No, no.
Speaker A:Take it out.
Speaker B:Leave it in.
Speaker A:Take it out.
Speaker A:No, no.
Speaker A:Take it out.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Put it back in.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:It's so big.
Speaker B:That boy told me yesterday.
Speaker A:What's up, you?
Speaker B:He said you're the out of me.
Speaker B:I was like, yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker B:Go ahead.
Speaker A:What's up, King?
Speaker B:What's up, S?
Speaker A:And what's up, People, what's up to all you out there?
Speaker A:That was a.
Speaker B:That was a long pause.
Speaker B:You all right?
Speaker A:You know what?
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's so crazy, because I think I would say I felt differently when I woke up this morning.
Speaker A:I'm glad we didn't actually record an episode yesterday because the mood probably would have been different.
Speaker A:But, you know, we're here today, so all you, welcome to what are we even Talking About Podcast.
Speaker A:We're happy to have you.
Speaker B:Episode.
Speaker A:Well, that's right where every other episode, we take turns.
Speaker B:Yep, that happens.
Speaker B:If we take turns unbeknownst.
Speaker A:Unbeknownst.
Speaker A:Yeah, we flip flop.
Speaker A:All right, this is a full verse set kind of here on this side.
Speaker B:Pause.
Speaker A:We take turns letting you know what is.
Speaker A:You go ahead.
Speaker B:Because at this point.
Speaker B:So I'm gonna say it, and then he's gonna say it, and then we're all gonna say it.
Speaker B:No, I'm kidding.
Speaker B:But, yeah, we take turns every other week choosing the topic unbeknownst to the other.
Speaker A:So the conversation is un.
Speaker A:So the conversation is unrehearsed and authentic.
Speaker B:And most importantly, a safe space for friends to be vulnerable.
Speaker A:So go ahead, y'.
Speaker A:All, Grab your water.
Speaker A:Grab your water.
Speaker A:Okay, let's.
Speaker A:Let's.
Speaker A:Let's just hydrate ourselves this episode, okay.
Speaker A:And get ready to find out.
Speaker A:That's you now.
Speaker B:It's your week.
Speaker A:It's my week for the topic.
Speaker A:Therefore, you're the one that makes sense.
Speaker B:I. I'm a dumbass.
Speaker B:What are we even talking about?
Speaker A:Okay, we got there.
Speaker A:It's your boy pj, AKA sir pj through that.
Speaker B:I'm sorry.
Speaker A:A very long time.
Speaker A:But it is all right.
Speaker A:It is all right.
Speaker A:AKA It's a new day.
Speaker A:Let's.
Speaker A:Let's try to make it a new.
Speaker A:A new feeling.
Speaker B:And it is Christopher, also known as King Christopher.
Speaker B:Some call me King.
Speaker B:Some call me Christopher.
Speaker B:Never call me Chris.
Speaker B:And if you call me Daddy, I might say, yes.
Speaker B:How can I help you?
Speaker A:Call me sir.
Speaker A:I'm telling.
Speaker A:I'm telling you right now.
Speaker A:When someone actually does say sir to me, it does something to me.
Speaker A:Like the other day.
Speaker A:All right, so we're gonna get a little bit vulnerable before we get into the episode, right?
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:All right, so let's.
Speaker A:So we're gonna call this quick little segment Sexy Time, okay?
Speaker A:So where we share our little sexy time secrets.
Speaker A:So just recently, I tried to, you know, have sex, and he was like, yeah, tell daddy you like that.
Speaker A:And I'm just.
Speaker A:I like it.
Speaker A:And he was like, no, that's not what I said.
Speaker A:And I was like, I'm not calling you daddy.
Speaker A:Like, I'm just not doing that.
Speaker A:So it kind of set the mood.
Speaker A:I kind of was already agitated after that.
Speaker A:So, like, I really don't like being called daddy nor any.
Speaker A:Am I really ever calling someone else Daddy.
Speaker A:It has happened.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna sit here and say I never dug has, but I gotta be in the mood for that.
Speaker A:It wasn't calling for that.
Speaker B:So, yeah, I gotta literally be slobbing at the mouth.
Speaker B:Like, you gotta have me to the point as to where I'm just like exasperated, like so turned on.
Speaker B:All of the energy, everything that it needs to be.
Speaker B:And at that moment I might fuck around and slip up and be like, I don't even know what I'm saying right now, but damn it, Daddy.
Speaker B:Like, like, it has to be one of those.
Speaker A:Yes, it really does.
Speaker A:Like, even.
Speaker A:Even on moments where I choose to like, you know, receive, you know, for those, you know, for top or bottom?
Speaker A:For.
Speaker A:I choose the bottom.
Speaker A:I am number one.
Speaker A:I have an.
Speaker A:I have an ass.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:I do not have a pussy.
Speaker B:That's an ass.
Speaker A:Yeah, so.
Speaker A:So please don't, don't, don't, don't do that.
Speaker A:Because baby, that's the quickest way to drive this well up.
Speaker A:So quick.
Speaker A:But anyway, how was your week?
Speaker B:I've had a. I will say I've had a all around positive week.
Speaker B:However, there have been some really, really rough moments.
Speaker B:I think the universe understands that I am on my last three weeks at my job and they are sending every force that they can to test me.
Speaker B:And I have to actively remind myself, you cannot afford to quit, you need your last check and you cannot afford to go the fuck off on any of these rude ass people.
Speaker B:They will fire you and you will not get your last check.
Speaker B:So I have been having to have those conversations with myself actively throughout the day.
Speaker B:Because at least three or four times every day this week I have been in conversations with people who want to argue with me, who want to be rude to me, who want to debate what I'm not going to debate with you.
Speaker B:Like, at the end of the day, girl, it was your fault.
Speaker B:You may not understand how it was your fault.
Speaker B:You may want to argue that it was not your fault.
Speaker B:You may want to say that for whatever reason that they did this and they didn't look for this and whatever, but at the end of the day, my liability decision is this.
Speaker B:I've already talked to my supervisor about it.
Speaker B:If you'd like to reach out him to reach out to you.
Speaker B:He'll tell you the same thing.
Speaker B:We are going to pay to get their car fixed.
Speaker B:Have a nice day.
Speaker B:And outside of that, it's just been really, really, like, icky energy.
Speaker B:And I'm just like, ugh.
Speaker B:But outside of that, I cleared my background check, so that was a positive thing.
Speaker B:I ordered and got back very quickly my birth certificate because I had lost it.
Speaker B:I paid a ticket that I have had outstanding for three years and paid my reinstatement fee so that I could get my driver's license reinstated before it expires on my birthday so that I can renew it and I don't have to start that whole wicked driver's license process over again because it is a nightmare.
Speaker B:And if I never have to, I would love not to have to go to the DMV.
Speaker B:So all in all, I give it a 7.
Speaker B:The only reason I can't give it higher is because bitch has been on my nerves.
Speaker B:But it's been a pretty good week.
Speaker B:How about yours?
Speaker A:I'll give mine a four.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah, it's been a.
Speaker A:It's been a really interesting week.
Speaker A:And, you know, there are those moments where everything is great.
Speaker A:Like, everything is great when you're outside, you know, and I'm amongst people and then I come home and I lock the door, and it just.
Speaker A:It just completely changes, you know, like, full disclosure, guys.
Speaker A:We're once again recording this episode on a Saturday.
Speaker A:My schedule has been a little hectic.
Speaker A:Plus the other day I was a little exhausted and drained and out of it.
Speaker A:And I think that my energy would have been very negative.
Speaker A:And, you know, even though we want to be authentic and things I'm thinking most of about you guys listening, I don't want to trauma dump my on you, but I know that there are other people who experience things like this.
Speaker A:So for a person like me who has these manic episodes where they come out of nowhere, it's literally music has been doing that.
Speaker A:So that's why sometimes I'll go to go silent.
Speaker A:And I put.
Speaker A:I put on this playlist that I created, which was like, why would I do it?
Speaker A:And it starts out with.
Speaker A:It's called the Real pj.
Speaker A:And it starts out with Jessie J.
Speaker A:You don't really know me.
Speaker A:And I really suggest people who don't know that song to take a listen.
Speaker A:I remember the first time I heard it was when my cousin had passed away and I had.
Speaker A:No, she didn't pass away.
Speaker A:I was just down there.
Speaker A:This was the year that I had an explosive blowout with my mother and I drove to my cousin's house, the one who did pass away.
Speaker A:And I remember just it was pouring down, raining, and I really listened to this song for the first time.
Speaker A:And it's just really saying the girl who always says yes wants to scream no.
Speaker A:You know, does everybody's.
Speaker A:It's basically like what you think, you know, you have no idea.
Speaker A:And I've been feeling in this sink or swim, sink or swim kind of mode, you know.
Speaker A:And there are moments when we do this recording and some moments when I do highly melanated or I do anything else with other people that that's.
Speaker A:That's like the things that I need.
Speaker A:And sometimes when they don't happen by whatever means necessary, it puts me deeper into a feeling because this is an energy exchange between.
Speaker A:Between the two of you, two of us, as well as between whoever is listening.
Speaker A:So, like, here's an example.
Speaker A:I wrote three stickies here.
Speaker A:And I've been starting to do this when I have these feelings.
Speaker A:And I remember this is one of the things that my old therapist told me used to do that whatever you're feeling, just write it down somewhere and just put it somewhere.
Speaker A:And this one is.
Speaker A:I think I'm sinking into an abyss.
Speaker A:And the deeper I go, the lonelier it is to get help.
Speaker A:Because I know I can't do it alone.
Speaker A:But I don't want to be a burden because everyone has their own.
Speaker A:And so that's how I've kind of been feeling this week.
Speaker A:Not gonna do this episode.
Speaker A:Like I said, get water.
Speaker A:I've been drinking water because last episode we recorded and we were so drunk.
Speaker A:But I will say this one positive thing that did happen.
Speaker A:This past week, my mother celebrated her 67th birthday.
Speaker A:She's currently right now in.
Speaker A:In Bermuda.
Speaker A:She's up here in New York, but now she just.
Speaker A:She's on a cruise and she'll be back here pretty soon.
Speaker A:And she opened up to me for the first time ever about something very personal.
Speaker A:And I. I was using that conversation.
Speaker A:It was starting out to be like, between us, what I was feeling and what's been going on with me.
Speaker A:And she instantly turned it around to make it about her, which was about to send me somewhere.
Speaker A:But I gave her the grace because I was listening to what she was saying and it was opening up in a way that she never has before.
Speaker A:So I wrote that in my gratitude jar.
Speaker A:The day my mother opened up about secrets she's never told me.
Speaker A:And I'm Hoping that that exchange brings us closer and it makes her feel lighter and more accepting of her imperfect life because she also has an imperfect child, you know, so.
Speaker A:Yeah, but that you brought that back.
Speaker B:Up because I had forgotten about it and now I am definitely.
Speaker B:Because this is your second time bringing it up.
Speaker B:I'm going online right now as we're talking and ordering a jar.
Speaker B:I don't care what it is, I just need a jar.
Speaker B:And recently I ordered a big ass pack of stickies.
Speaker B:I got like a 10 pack of sticky notes.
Speaker B:Yeah, we'll start writing this shit down on stickies and putting it in my jar and when I need it, go to the jar.
Speaker A:And so, I mean, I've even like thought about this extra step that I'm going to do is that once the month is over and I take all this stuff out, I'm actually going to take each sticky and like put them on a piece of paper that's in a book.
Speaker A:So it's going to become a book of stickies, a book of, you know, all moments.
Speaker A:Oh, I like, I want to do that before.
Speaker B:I want to do it the way you're doing it.
Speaker B:They have one.
Speaker B:I don't know if you can see this, but it's like it's pre made and it says gratitude.
Speaker A:Yeah, no quotes.
Speaker B:And like I guess you pull it from the jar whenever you need like some inspiration.
Speaker B:But yeah, I want like my.
Speaker A:And see this one said, this one says you make the difference.
Speaker B:Oh yeah.
Speaker A:And this, and this is just, and this is just a regular.
Speaker A:You can get a mason jar, but this is like a regular candy jar.
Speaker A:Like, you know, and so I really been hoping that things pick up because this, this feeling that looks weird.
Speaker B:It'S so cute and quaint and you pick up the little cork ball from the top and that's the like lid.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But this, this, this week, I, I just really hope that this feeling goes away sooner than later because for those of you who don't know, all the way from August all the way to July, January, I'm in like probably the worst moods I've ever been.
Speaker A:And it's consistent.
Speaker A:So trying to snap out of it before it becomes a thing.
Speaker A:And once it becomes a thing, it's a thing.
Speaker A:And wait and let me add one more thing, like even today.
Speaker A:And I want all of you out there to hear this part.
Speaker A:So today I'm doing a service and one of the.
Speaker A:It's a bunch of, It's a bunch of services happening at the cemetery right at the specific cemetery.
Speaker A:And most of the drivers there are drivers that I work with.
Speaker A:One of them, him and I are extremely cool.
Speaker A:He always calls me his little brother.
Speaker A:He's like in his early 70s.
Speaker A:He's a really nice guy, you know.
Speaker A:And he always hits me up and he always makes these jokes like, you know, you don't call me, you don't do anything, you know, checking in on me, I could be dead.
Speaker A:This and that, whatever.
Speaker A:And I'm like, I'm sorry bro, I don't.
Speaker A:I really have a hard time with calling people so.
Speaker A:I mean I'm not.
Speaker A:It doesn't make you any different.
Speaker A:I have a hard time calling my mother, my best friends, you know, like dude, we just work with each other.
Speaker A:And one day he had called me and it was like 6 o' clock in the morning.
Speaker A:And one thing you need to know, ladies and gentlemen, about Libras.
Speaker A:Don't wake us up, okay?
Speaker A:Let us wake up naturally, okay?
Speaker A:Because you will get the rage monster you never thought you knew.
Speaker A:And I know that that day I was having a really, really tough time sleeping.
Speaker A:And when he spoke and I think I cut him off so quick and I was like man, it's too early for this, I just can't deal with this right now.
Speaker A:And so he brought that up today.
Speaker A:And I think that people don't realize that people have going on in their lives.
Speaker A:It's not always all about you, you know.
Speaker A:And I think that people need to understand that because.
Speaker A:Which, you know, there's a double edged sword about it but it's just like I didn't mean.
Speaker A:And I said this, I'm sorry, I apologize for that.
Speaker A:I didn't, I didn't think you would take it that way.
Speaker A:I thought I was, I. I didn't really mean it.
Speaker A:But that's why you took it.
Speaker A:I'm sorry.
Speaker A:But just know that that week, that day was a really, really tough day for me.
Speaker A:And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it out like that.
Speaker A:And he was just like, it's okay, it's all good.
Speaker A:I just know not to, you know, bug you.
Speaker A:And I'm like, so that's kind of where I've been.
Speaker A:But enough about that.
Speaker A:What you got for us today.
Speaker B:What I have for us today is before this episode is over.
Speaker B:That energy that you were talking about, that exchange.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's gonna blow your mind.
Speaker B:It's gonna feel before because yes, I think that's what you could benefit from right now and of is just a moment and beyond this moment, you know, of course, you know, it's kind of one of those things where, especially when we're dealing with things, it's like we can have moments and they can kind of be our method of escape from whatever it is that we deal with.
Speaker B:But then beyond that moment, it's like, okay, well, now we're back and here's the silence and the solitude and all of those different things.
Speaker B:And from a mental health perspective, I completely understand and resonate with that.
Speaker B:But if nothing else on today, I just want to offer you some joy and, and some laughter and some fun because I think you deserve that.
Speaker B:I think a lot of times when it comes to the things that we're dealing with, a lot of it, and not, not always.
Speaker B:And I'm, and I'm speaking very generally, but a lot of times when we're dealing with things, it's very much like, sometimes it's just like, I just need a getaway.
Speaker B:I needed something to kind of take my mind off of this.
Speaker B:I need something that's going to like, snap me out of this rut and put me back into this space of inspiration and good feeling and good vibe.
Speaker B:And so today, if anything, that is what I hope this episode is for you.
Speaker B:It is your topic, it is your week to choose.
Speaker B:Whatever you so decide that you want to talk about, I am here to discuss with you.
Speaker B:But just know that no matter what we discuss that this is going to be a fun time.
Speaker B:I am committed to that.
Speaker B:And so hold me accountable in that.
Speaker B:And I am going to start that off with a little bit of something that I have not done.
Speaker B:For a while.
Speaker B:I was trying to switch it up and then I was like, eh, do I like my switch up?
Speaker B:Not so much.
Speaker B:So I'm gonna pivot and we're going to do a little bit of something that we've done here before, and it's called this or that.
Speaker B:And I'm just going to ask you a few questions to get your opinion on some things and determine which you feel in this moment you would prefer.
Speaker B:And I want your honesty.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Tell me the truth.
Speaker B:So right now, tell me the truth.
Speaker B:You can't handle truth.
Speaker A:Truth.
Speaker B:So right now with where you are, boundary setting or people pleasing?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:See how it's hard for me?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:But boundary setting, it is hard for me.
Speaker B:To me, I've been blocking left and right and it's so funny because I'm not that person.
Speaker B:I'm normally the person that I want to avoid conflict at all costs.
Speaker B:I want to try to hold on to people because I sometimes, you know, we do get lonely and you feel like, well, you know, I don't want to lose anybody because that puts me one step closer into this, you know, space of loneliness.
Speaker B:And it's like you try to, like, do everything that you can to try to make things work.
Speaker B:And I think for me, I've been doing that actively for so long to my own detriment, because before you know it, I'm stressed and I'm overwhelmed and I'm feeling kind of very not happy with the way that things are going.
Speaker B:And like, I'm accepting things that maybe I shouldn't.
Speaker B:And lately it's just been like, look, baby, this is the boundary you don't want to adhere.
Speaker B:I' ma holl at you.
Speaker B:And some people might say that's toxic.
Speaker B:But every time I have that experience, I talk to my therapist about it and he makes me feel like I'm okay.
Speaker B:And that's what matters for me at the end of the day.
Speaker B:So, yes, I'm with you.
Speaker B:Let's set those boundaries and stand on them.
Speaker B:Ladies and gents and non binary persons.
Speaker B:Another one.
Speaker B:The way that this ties in together and I did not even recognize it.
Speaker B:Forgiveness or cut them off.
Speaker A:Cut them off.
Speaker B:Cut the off.
Speaker B:No, no, I'm sorry, go ahead.
Speaker B:Because I got too excited about that.
Speaker B:Oh, that's an alarm.
Speaker A:You got so excited that you're.
Speaker A:You're notification.
Speaker A:That's hilarious.
Speaker A:And see, see how the universe does that?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:You know, I've told you, I'm very, I'm clear.
Speaker A:So things come in, in audio messages for me and I that cut them off.
Speaker A:You know what?
Speaker A:And that's exactly what I'm doing.
Speaker A:Left and right, left and right, and not.
Speaker A:And without explanation anymore.
Speaker A:Just, just no notes.
Speaker B:I tried.
Speaker B:You didn't want to be here with me when I was trying.
Speaker B:So at this point, God bless you.
Speaker A:And don't hit me 30 days later talking about, I haven't heard from you in 30 days.
Speaker A:Like, I'm sorry.
Speaker B:Have mercy.
Speaker B:Now the next question.
Speaker B:Are we holding back or are we over sharing?
Speaker A:I'm holding back.
Speaker B:I'm over sharing a little bit.
Speaker A:I've over.
Speaker A:I've overshared.
Speaker A:I've overshared my entire life for the most part.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:And, and so here's the thing.
Speaker A:Like, I've.
Speaker A:I believe this.
Speaker A:Not everything is for public consumption.
Speaker A:But I have a hard time.
Speaker A:I have had, let me use my words correctly, in the past.
Speaker A:I have had a hard time keeping Some things to myself versus sharing.
Speaker A:So I can feel, so I can make you feel that you're not alone in this.
Speaker A:But it ain't about you.
Speaker A:It's about protecting my peace.
Speaker A:And so I'm holding back.
Speaker B:Everything that I subscribe to is always like, move in silence.
Speaker B:Everybody doesn't have to know the plan.
Speaker B:Like, all of the things are like, yes, move in silence.
Speaker B:And then cut to me like, yes.
Speaker B:So let me tell you everything that I've been working on.
Speaker B:Let me tell you everything that I've been thinking about.
Speaker B:Let me tell you everything I've been wanting to do.
Speaker B:Let me tell you about all the things that I'm putting into motion.
Speaker B:And I think for me right now, specifically, it's because I'm so excited about certain things and I know it would be easier.
Speaker B:What am I not as audible?
Speaker A:Yeah, you just.
Speaker A:When you just said that, I don't know, you sat back maybe.
Speaker B:Let's make sure I'm still on all the things I'm on the mic.
Speaker A:You're still on.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You're still.
Speaker B:Yeah, But I think it's one of those things that's where I've just been so excited about all the things that are going on as to where I've just been wanting to, like, shout it from the rooftop.
Speaker B:So lately I can say maybe I. I hope that I don't regret it in the long run, but I have definitely been.
Speaker B:Been over sharing.
Speaker B:And then, you know what?
Speaker A:Here's.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, go ahead, wait.
Speaker A:But here's also the thing.
Speaker A:Like, I think this works for us because again, we're so much alike, but very different on both ends of the scale.
Speaker A:And so, like, there have been moments where I have shared all the things that I'm about to do and all the things that are moving and then they never transpire.
Speaker A:That's why I don't like making plans.
Speaker A:And when they do transpire, they transpire at a different pace that I said it was going to happen or it feels like it's not happening.
Speaker A:You know, I have said I was doing a lot of things and those things have.
Speaker A:Are still like moving like a snail.
Speaker A:But it's the speaking into existence kind of situation.
Speaker A:But I'm speaking into existence to me, like, I don't need to speak.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:I'm back into move.
Speaker A:Moving in silence and holding back.
Speaker A:Because once again, I've.
Speaker A:I've come to see, in my experience, some people have a tendency to.
Speaker A:And I never.
Speaker A:I never want to be this person.
Speaker A:I think we're gonna have two topics tonight because I just can't still break my mind between either one.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So, yeah, I think that's what we're gonna do tonight.
Speaker A:But it's, it's a, it's, it's hard for me to just to hold back in a sense.
Speaker A:So I'm challenging myself to do this because I share so much.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:You know, and certain things are sacred.
Speaker B:I definitely, I, I, I can say as much as I'm not living up to it, I definitely support the concept of it.
Speaker B:And I think it's beneficial because.
Speaker B:Yeah, like, like I said, for me, I'm just like, oh, I can't hold it in.
Speaker B:But I do want to ask you one last question.
Speaker B:And this one.
Speaker B:Oh, I've got a teeter tottering.
Speaker B:I'm teeter tottering.
Speaker A:Let's not teeter.
Speaker B:I'm teetering and tottering.
Speaker A:It's happening all at once.
Speaker A:That's what he said.
Speaker A:So are you digging in me?
Speaker B:Be quiet.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Hood roots are high rise dreams Cedar and sadder with me.
Speaker A:I think for the first time in my life, I'm going to go with high rise dreams.
Speaker A:I think.
Speaker A:Yeah, I, I am, I, I have loved claiming and, you know, this is who I am and this is where I'm from and this is why I am the way I am.
Speaker A:And you know, things are changing and I'm evolving, but it still doesn't change who I am ultimate altogether.
Speaker A:But ding, ding, ding.
Speaker A:We have made the decision.
Speaker A:But it has helped me, as of recent, move some things along to start thinking in a bigger, broader space than just still big.
Speaker A:Thinking big and broad, but not forgetting where I came from.
Speaker A:If that makes sense.
Speaker B:If I've not said it in this space for a year and a half, Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish was my favorite song.
Speaker B:I was obsessed with it.
Speaker B:It was my ringtone.
Speaker B:I was so stuck in the space of that song.
Speaker B:And not because I feel that I wanted to feel the way that she said she was feeling in that song because it was almost obsessive, but just the idea of how good it felt when I would hear it and somewhat that idea of it would be nice to be able to share in a semblance of this kind of love with somebody.
Speaker B:Like, it just was inspiring for me.
Speaker B:However, the very moment that I heard Spend it by Summer Walker, from the very first moment, and I was, like, kind of skeptical because I liked the, what was it?
Speaker B:The Heart of a woman song, I was like, this sounds like some nice, you Know, old school R and B.
Speaker B:And that's okay.
Speaker B:We know it sounds like some nice old school R and B.
Speaker B:And for a while, like, I wasn't really rocking with her because it was very like, oh, I hate my baby dad.
Speaker B:I hate my baby dad.
Speaker B:Like, all the music kind of sounded that way, but I got into the.
Speaker B:We're not going to talk about that.
Speaker B:But I got into that and I just.
Speaker B:I felt really good about it.
Speaker B:And I heard suspended.
Speaker B:And the very first line of the song was, give me the last four of your credit card.
Speaker B:Buy back my love, you can keep your heart.
Speaker B:And it's literally the Gold diggers anthem.
Speaker B:But it's something about how good it feels and I resonate with it so tremendously because it's just very, like luxurious and very.
Speaker B:Just.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:All the things.
Speaker B:All of the.
Speaker B:All of that to say.
Speaker B:That is now my favorite song.
Speaker B:She stole Billy's spot.
Speaker B:We literally took Billy off the shelf, threw her across the room, and now it's all about that song.
Speaker B:But with that being said, I've also been.
Speaker B:And this goes back to Tick tock.
Speaker B:Everything for me seems lately goes back to TikTok.
Speaker B:I've also been subscribing to a lot of content that is just speaking about wealth and just like walking into your season of luxury and like manifesting things that you desire for yourself.
Speaker B:And the reason that you even think about certain things sometimes is because the universe understands that you're supposed to be wealthy.
Speaker B:Like, the things that you want, you only know that you want them because there's a future version of yourself that already has them.
Speaker B:And just all of these different beautiful and amazing concepts.
Speaker B:And it's just like lately I've been like, yeah, I want it all.
Speaker B:And it's so funny because I used to say.
Speaker B:I'm sorry.
Speaker B:Go ahead.
Speaker A:No, I'm gonna let you finish.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:I was just gonna say it's so funny because I used to always say, like, all I need is enough to be comfortable.
Speaker B:I don't need to be rich.
Speaker B:All I need is enough to be able to pay my.
Speaker B:Pay my bills and get some things that I want.
Speaker B:And then I got that and I recognized that that still wasn't enough.
Speaker B:So at this point, yeah, it's giving Self made millionaire.
Speaker A:Let's get it.
Speaker A:So I'm just gonna say this because I know that you're gonna enjoy this part.
Speaker A:There's a certain someone that I host another show with that has been saying for the longest the.
Speaker A:The reason why you fight so hard for something is because your future self already has it.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:Hey, Chris.
Speaker A:It just moves, you know?
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Well, I got a little warm.
Speaker B:I do want to ask.
Speaker B:Nope, nope.
Speaker B:You got something to offer, too.
Speaker B:I was going to say I want to ask you what we're talking about, but.
Speaker B:Nope, we're not there yet.
Speaker B:Keep going.
Speaker A:Not yet.
Speaker A:Not yet.
Speaker B:Let's into it.
Speaker A:I'm going to.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's.
Speaker A:Ease into it.
Speaker A:And by the way, by the way of easing into it, I want to offer you a segment I like to call this Chest in, brought to you by Pat.
Speaker A:So this is.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:This just in, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker A:You don't have to say everything that's on your mind.
Speaker A:Some things you can just keep to your fucking self.
Speaker A:This just in.
Speaker A:This just in.
Speaker A:Shut up.
Speaker A:As soon as you start speaking, you know you're an idiot.
Speaker A:Shut up.
Speaker A:This just in.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's you.
Speaker A:It's not just me.
Speaker A:It is you.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's only you.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And lastly, this just in.
Speaker A:You don't have to pick up the phone to see if someone is okay.
Speaker A:You don't, because you don't care.
Speaker A:You just want to check in so you can say you checked in.
Speaker A:Just continue doing what you were doing.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:They were fine without you.
Speaker A:None of those, by the way, have anything to do with me.
Speaker A:But these are random thoughts that popped in my head.
Speaker A:Not actually what I wrote down, but these are what came across my desk.
Speaker A:Oh, wait, one more.
Speaker A:One more is coming in.
Speaker A:Wait, one more's coming in.
Speaker A:One more's coming in.
Speaker A:Hold on.
Speaker A:This just in this, Justin, Nobody cares.
Speaker A:Nobody cares.
Speaker A:They say they do, but they don't.
Speaker A:Because do you care?
Speaker A:Now, if you do care, then others may care, but if you don't, how do you expect them to?
Speaker A:That was just him.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So I will ask you now, as we press forth, what are we even talking about?
Speaker B:W A W E T A dot Podcast or WIDA Podcast.
Speaker B:Drink that.
Speaker A:So I have had four topics here.
Speaker A:You can't see it.
Speaker A:Well, now you could a little bit, and I just finally starred one.
Speaker A:And I think it is time to talk about what we've been talking about so far, which is the pivot.
Speaker A:I think it's time to talk about the pivot.
Speaker A:Now, the pivot is going to be a sum of different things, which still will cover all the other topics that I thought of today.
Speaker A:So it's a hodgepodge, but it's about the pivot.
Speaker A:All right, so my first question to you Is when do you feel that it is time to just change, to change what it is that you're doing?
Speaker A:And let's keep it as general as we possibly can before we get deeper.
Speaker B:I think honestly, when I've.
Speaker B:I think honestly, when I feel like I'm stuck, like, I think I find myself in spaces sometimes where it's like, okay, I've been doing this for a while.
Speaker B:It's not going the way I want it to go.
Speaker B:I can't really figure out a way to make it happen in the way I want it to based on the things that I've been doing thus far.
Speaker B:Something has to change or I'm going to hit a wall.
Speaker B:So I think at that point, for me, it's like, all right, we need to pivot.
Speaker B:Like, shit's just not working out.
Speaker B:Something has to shift in this experience.
Speaker B:I don't know what I need to do, but I need to figure it out.
Speaker B:Some pieces need to move around.
Speaker B:I need to maybe remove myself or back up a little so that I can, like, observe it from a different angle.
Speaker B:But there has to be a shift.
Speaker B:For me, it's like when I get stuck.
Speaker B:Stuck.
Speaker B:Yeah, and stuck being the operative word.
Speaker B:Like, what I feel like.
Speaker B:I mean, there's no way for me to move otherwise.
Speaker B:Or if I continue to move in the way that I am, I'm going to, like, end up stuck in the mud.
Speaker B:Like, let's pivot.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:What about you?
Speaker A:Well, I mean, for me, it's pretty much the same thing, except for it's when I, I, I, I have a habit of taking inventory, like, so much inventory, to the point where I can look at a picture from last year and remember just from that picture where I was mentally and looking at that from last year and looking at taking a picture today and seeing if I'm in the same space I was in, then it's time for a change.
Speaker A:And then you think about, what were you doing during that time?
Speaker A:Are you still doing the same thing now?
Speaker A:And nothing has changed, then you're doing.
Speaker A:You're being insane, because nothing's going to change.
Speaker A:And I think for me, that means that I have to extend myself in ways that make me uncomfortable.
Speaker A:So, yeah.
Speaker A:And speaking of being uncomfortable, what scares you the most about stepping outside of your comfort zone?
Speaker B:A lot of times, as much as I don't want to admit this, and as much as I wish it was not true, what I've learned is, is that a lot of times it's nothing specific that has anything to do with me, I'm not worried about what if this goes wrong or what if it doesn't work out the way that I want it to or any of those things.
Speaker B:What it always channels back to is my concern about what other people are going to think about it.
Speaker B:And I hate that.
Speaker B:I hate it so very much.
Speaker B:It is the most disgusting fucking thing on the planet.
Speaker B:But it's my truth.
Speaker B:Like, a lot of times for me, when it comes to stepping outside of my comfort zone and making a change, my biggest worry is how is this going to impact other people?
Speaker B:How are other people going to view me?
Speaker B:What are other people going to think about this?
Speaker B:Are other people going to be happy with my decision?
Speaker B:The people going to be disappointed in me?
Speaker B:Am I going to be letting people down?
Speaker B:Like, am I going to be.
Speaker B:Ultimately, is me doing this for me in some way going to make somebody else feel like I'm doing it against them?
Speaker B:Like, it's never about me.
Speaker B:It's always generally about other people.
Speaker A:This exact same thing.
Speaker A:Like, it's.
Speaker A:It gets to the point where it's like, I'm so more.
Speaker A:I've been so worried about how people perceived.
Speaker A:Perceive me in a sense of, am I a good guy or a bad guy?
Speaker A:Perceive, you know, am I, am I nice or am I mean, you know, am I kind or am I, you know, am I genital or am I rough?
Speaker A:Like, really worrying about what people think has at the same time, which is weird, not giving a fuck what people think.
Speaker A:So the not giving a fuck of what people think is what makes you do what you do in the moment.
Speaker A:It's the after effects of doing it.
Speaker B:Now you're like, okay, and it's done.
Speaker B:But oh, like, oh, I can't believe.
Speaker A:I, you know, so like, no, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm in the moment of like, it's, it's time to change.
Speaker A:And in order to change that, I think I need to start changing my.
Speaker A:Not just my environment, but those who are in my environment.
Speaker A:And for me, presently, there's not a lot of people in my environment.
Speaker A:So I think I need to get back out in spaces where there are more people.
Speaker A:I need to move out of this isolation phase that I'm in.
Speaker A:And that doesn't mean me going back on old apps.
Speaker A:And whether it's the red box, the yellow box, whether it's on the little.
Speaker B:Dino box, getting back out into your community, like you're part of a vast community.
Speaker B:So there's that.
Speaker B:I was gonna say one thing that I find to be the Most beneficial.
Speaker B:As much as I said that, that's.
Speaker B:That it is.
Speaker B:It's like I'm worried about what other people think is.
Speaker B:When I challenge myself and I do it anyway, I always feel so incredibly exhilarated.
Speaker B:Like, it's like, yes, those fears may still creep in, those concerns, those worries, those wonders.
Speaker B:But beyond that moment, I've already done it at this point, whatever they think, I can't go back and take it back that I've done it.
Speaker B:So it's out there.
Speaker B:We're here.
Speaker B:The decisions have been made.
Speaker B:We gotta.
Speaker B:You know, we have to live with that.
Speaker B:And I don't think I've ever regretted that.
Speaker B:I think I always feel good in knowing that I'm doing something that I want to do, something that I feel like is gonna benefit me, something that feels good for me.
Speaker A:I'm so glad you took it there.
Speaker A:So my question.
Speaker A:My next question is, do you think any of those is attached to any insecurities you may have?
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Sure.
Speaker B:Is it everything?
Speaker B:But no, like, seriously.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:I mean, so, like, it's so crazy because we're gonna go back to sexy time, right?
Speaker A:So we were having sexy time, and I was, like, doing a motion that I normally do, like a stretch, and like a.
Speaker A:Like a.
Speaker A:Like, put your body in a certain kind of position.
Speaker A:And I realized it was harder for me to do it.
Speaker A:And I was like, oh, my God, this is.
Speaker A:I. I need to stretch.
Speaker A:He's like, no, you're just a little out of shape.
Speaker A:And the moment that that truth came out, everything else began to crumble.
Speaker A:Like, I couldn't perform.
Speaker A:I couldn't.
Speaker A:I was constantly worried about what I look like as I'm, like, on top of you.
Speaker A:I kept.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:He fell asleep on me, and I left.
Speaker A:It was one of those things where I. I got so wrapped up in my.
Speaker A:What was going on in my head based on something that was said that I already feel about myself.
Speaker A:Because it's true.
Speaker A:I am out of shape.
Speaker A:I am not the same person I was because this person was somebody I dealt with before.
Speaker A:Once again, I am going back into those.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:That thing that I've said before about me riding the same pony twice.
Speaker A:Like, if we've had an issue before and I'm not going back and it's been proven myself that I need to.
Speaker B:Stick with that, but also him for saying that, because.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Like, it's really with me in.
Speaker A:In.
Speaker A:I mean, I know he didn't mean it in that kind of way, but he's also.
Speaker A:So we're in Virgo season, and that's what y' all do.
Speaker A:So it is okay.
Speaker A:It's, it's, it's, it's, it's okay because it's this little bit of reality I didn't, I did need to hear.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:It could have been said a little nicer, but, you know, sometimes for me, not all the times, things that need to be nice.
Speaker A:So it's.
Speaker A:This is time for me to pivot and go back into.
Speaker A:Back into my, like, really working on not just my body for my.
Speaker A:For looks, but really for health.
Speaker A:I am.
Speaker A:I am turning 45 this year, and it is harder for a person of my age to lose weight.
Speaker A:It is harder for us to be motivated to do all these things, and especially if I haven't done them in so long, trying to find ways to get myself back into it where while I'm having sex, I feel confident.
Speaker A:I don't feel like, oh, my God, is my stomach looking like.
Speaker A:Like, do I look like I just ate?
Speaker A:Like, what's going on?
Speaker A:Like, I'm worried about that, you know, And I don't, I don't.
Speaker A:I never, I never was in the past, even when I was thicker, you know, so.
Speaker A:But I'm trying to figure out ways to pivot that.
Speaker A:You have any suggestions?
Speaker B:Yes, yes, actually, I do.
Speaker B:So I'm going to tell you this.
Speaker B:And this is what I've been thinking about since you've been talking about this.
Speaker B:So we talked about it, and I feel like I've.
Speaker B:I thought.
Speaker B:Have I talked.
Speaker B:I talked about it here.
Speaker B:So for those who don't know, if you haven't listened, if you're a new listener, I'm a colon cancer survivor and curing myself, not cure myself.
Speaker B:Lord, I didn't do it.
Speaker B:And the doctors curing me of cancer, they went in and removed multiple things from my digestive system.
Speaker B:It left me with no hole, and I have a colostomy bag.
Speaker B:So now that we're all caught up, that has removed me from hookup culture.
Speaker B:I don't feel comfortable in spaces where I have to disclose my medical history and my surgery history just for the sake of getting my dick sucked or putting some dick off in something.
Speaker B:So I don't do it.
Speaker B:Like, a lot of times for me, if I am sexually active with somebody, it's somebody that I've known for a long time.
Speaker B:They basically have either we've become comfortable enough as to where they know what's going on with me as far as my history or it's like they were around me during that time.
Speaker B:Like, it's very rarely that I meet somebody and it's like, I don't know you, but I'm horny and you're horny, so let's make some things happen.
Speaker B:And oh, yeah, by the way, this is what this is about.
Speaker B:So with that being said, for a really long time, and it's now, I've been.
Speaker B:I was diagnosed in 13, I was deemed cancer free in 14.
Speaker B: Now it's: Speaker B:So I've been cancer free in December for 11 years.
Speaker B:And it's one of those things where I joke about it and I always say, like, it created some of the biggest insecurities of my life for me, moving into knowing that beyond that moment, this is something that I would always have.
Speaker B:There were certain ways that I couldn't show up sexually.
Speaker B:There were certain things that, you know, I would be concerned about people thinking or feeling or ways that I would feel judged by people even if they didn't feel okay enough to say it to me.
Speaker B:But one thing I can say, and I say it jokingly, but it's my absolute truth.
Speaker B:It's never stopped no bitch from putting their mouth on my dick that wanted to.
Speaker B:So with that.
Speaker B:In regard to what?
Speaker B:Insecure.
Speaker B:Whatever insecurities you may be feeling in that moment, I know you may be self conscious about it, but whoever is there with you, they getting what they want from that situation.
Speaker B:They wanted this, you're giving them this.
Speaker B:And whatever that is, they're not thinking about that.
Speaker B:That's you.
Speaker B:You're creating that for yourself.
Speaker B:You're overworking your mind about that unnecessarily.
Speaker B:Because at the end of the day, if they wanted some.
Speaker B:If they wanted to Some dick, you putting that dick down.
Speaker B:If they wanted some mouth, you putting that mouth down.
Speaker B:If they wanted some ass, you putting that ass down.
Speaker B:And that's what the important factor is in that conversation.
Speaker B:All that other.
Speaker B:It's not like you're waking up to them tomorrow and y' all are telling each other secrets and you're getting up from the bed to go get the newspaper and y' all are sharing a cup of coffee.
Speaker B:Nah, but, you know, I came to do what I do.
Speaker A:So, I mean, while we're still here in sexy time, I think we're just gonna call this, like, wherever we talk about sex, sexy time.
Speaker A:But while we're still here, here's the dilemma that I have, right?
Speaker A:And this is part of the pivot.
Speaker A:This is all of this is.
Speaker A:We're pivoting how we used to do things to how we.
Speaker A:How things should be done, I think.
Speaker A:Or trying to do it differently in order to get a different response.
Speaker A:I have boyfriend sex.
Speaker A:That is what I'm.
Speaker A:That is what I like.
Speaker A:That is how I enjoy.
Speaker A:And if you and I have had a connection in the past, like, it's not like this is like some random hookup.
Speaker A:Like, I know how you feel about me.
Speaker A:You know, like, we are trusting of each other.
Speaker A:Like, we have a.
Speaker A:This is a.
Speaker A:This is a safe space.
Speaker A:But the moment I don't feel safe anymore, then I start getting in my head, right?
Speaker A:So come on.
Speaker A:And I see him writing it down.
Speaker A:So there are.
Speaker A:There are moments where I am actively trying to.
Speaker A:Now we're going to remove sexy time out of this.
Speaker A:I am actively trying to be with somebody else.
Speaker A:What I think somebody else wants.
Speaker A:Wants me to be.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:You can't do that, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker A:I know y' all know that.
Speaker A:I know it.
Speaker A:King knows it.
Speaker A:But I, you know, I succumb to those moments where I still do it and then hate myself in the process as it's happening.
Speaker A:And then once it's too far in my head and I'm down the rabbit hole and I'm, like, literally looking at reflections as stroking is happening, and I'm just like, you know, now I'm just, like, feeling away.
Speaker A:And in order to change that, I can't feel away if I'm not doing anything to change it, you know, if I'm not actively, like, you know what?
Speaker A:I need to actually, like, really take this seriously and get into the gym.
Speaker A:In order to get in the gym, I need to pay a membership.
Speaker A:In order to pay a membership, I need to have money.
Speaker A:In order to have money, I need to wait for the schools to hit me back and say, we're going to get started with our program, so I can start getting paid for that.
Speaker A:You know, so there are.
Speaker A:There are all these little avenues.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:I can take walks.
Speaker A:I can do all my.
Speaker A:Go ride my bike.
Speaker A:I can do some things.
Speaker A:And I'm slowly going to start, you know, I've been doing a little bit more and more, but just speaking it out loud is helping me do that.
Speaker B:Start giving yourself pep talk, pep talks.
Speaker B:Like, in a moment, understanding, yes, you are who you are.
Speaker B:You show up how you show up.
Speaker B:You desire to please in the way that you desire to please.
Speaker B:However, in the same token, in a moment where you are seeking to have an experience, understand, I am going into this experience because I want to have fun, I want to feel good, I want to experience pleasure.
Speaker B:I want to walk away from this experience knowing that I did what I came to do and everything was good in the ways that I intended for it to be good.
Speaker B:And start setting that mindset up for yourself so that once you get there, all of the negative things that you could possibly think about, you've already kind of amped yourself up and made yourself feel sexy and confident and good.
Speaker B:Because.
Speaker B:Because like you said, I have boyfriend sex.
Speaker B:So if anything, I already know what I'm giving.
Speaker B:I already know what I got.
Speaker B:I already know what you want, I already know you're going to enjoy it.
Speaker B:But not even just that, right?
Speaker B:I'm going to enjoy myself too.
Speaker B:This isn't just about you.
Speaker B:I am going to receive, which you're.
Speaker A:Going to feel good, which is so crazy because I am literally one of the cockiest persons you'll ever meet.
Speaker A:But we're also in a season that I experience a lot of manic behavior.
Speaker A:And so, like, I try not to do anything during this time because I know where my mind can go, will go, and has gone.
Speaker A:And so I beat myself up over it.
Speaker A:Like, if we would have done this podcast yesterday, I was, I was, I was literally in tears on my way home.
Speaker A:And you know, my mother's out of, out of the country right now, so I have her car.
Speaker A:So I'm driving and I'm just bawling, crying at the red light.
Speaker A:There's people looking at me.
Speaker A:I still got a certain tie on.
Speaker A:People looking at me at the red light, are you okay?
Speaker A:So my rolled or window down and said, are you okay?
Speaker A:Can you drive?
Speaker A:And I was just like, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Speaker A:And then I pulled over because I realized that things that there's time for, it's time for a change, it is time for a pivot.
Speaker A:Because I think that there are some things that are affecting me more now, which I know has a tendency to do so, but I'm involving myself in them, which makes it worse.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:But I think another thing that would also benefit you is to.
Speaker B:I think as you're saying these things out loud and your level of self awareness about them, being able to recognize that as what it is.
Speaker B:I think it's an important thing to do to note that I understand that this is a season, I've been here before.
Speaker B:I know what it looks like for me.
Speaker B:I know what the experience feels like.
Speaker B:But in the same way that I know what it is like.
Speaker B:I know what I'm look, I have to look forward to.
Speaker B:I know all the things that could potentially happen in this moment.
Speaker B:I also know that just like in every other time that it's happened, it's going to pass.
Speaker B:These are just moments.
Speaker B:Moments are fleeting.
Speaker B:And every way that I've been able to endure and overcome this before, I will endure and overcome this in this time.
Speaker B:This will not last forever.
Speaker B:I don't have to stay stuck here.
Speaker B:I don't live here.
Speaker B:I'm just visiting.
Speaker B:This isn't my permanent residency.
Speaker B:This is just a trip that I'm taking right now because this is how my mental health shows up.
Speaker B:And damn it, it sucks.
Speaker B:But it's not something that I caused.
Speaker B:It's not something that I can control.
Speaker B:However, based on what I'm aware of, I can take the things that I've learned throughout my life and my experiences, as far as coping mechanisms, as far as things that I can do that can actively put me in a headspace, as far as things that I can do to pull myself away from this moment.
Speaker B:If I know, like coming home every day and laying on the couch and just laying around and being in my feelings and staying stuck there isn't benefiting me.
Speaker B:Like you said, getting back out into community, getting involved in those spaces, you have the house, you have your kids, you have all these different organizations that you maybe at one point have been a part of.
Speaker B:Those are things that are still available for you.
Speaker B:You've never been limited to the experience of, oh, I've been away for a while, so they're not going to accept me.
Speaker B:People respect you highly everywhere that you go.
Speaker B:You just have to remember that as you're kind of dealing with these low.
Speaker B:These low points of like, maybe not feeling your best, you have to remind yourself of what's true outside of yourself in this moment.
Speaker B:You are highly regarded, you are highly respected.
Speaker B:A lot of people appreciate you and care for you and appreciate the value of who you are and how you show up in the world.
Speaker B:So if you remind yourself of.
Speaker B:Of those things, the truths that have always been so evident, I know that comes from somewhere else, but we're using it here.
Speaker B:Whatev like reminding yourself of those things and putting yourself back in those spaces so that you can kind of reclaim some of that power and kind of re gain some of that confidence and say, you know what?
Speaker B:You damn right people do respect me.
Speaker B:So I'm gonna go be around those people that respect me.
Speaker B:If anything, maybe that'll help Me to feel uplifted in a moment where if not, I would have been just at home sitting on the couch, being sad.
Speaker B:Now I'm gonna go be around people in where I can do things and feel like I'm making a difference so that that can make me feel good about myself in another moment where I would have sat around and decided to feel bad.
Speaker B:I feel like you have agency and control in ways that maybe you're forgetting, because in the moment, all you can focus on is, oh, no, here's that season.
Speaker B:This is where I am.
Speaker B:This is what happens.
Speaker B:So let me kind of buckle down and get ready for this ride.
Speaker B:It doesn't have to be that way if you don't want it to be.
Speaker A:Ladies and gentlemen, I just want you all to know it is important to have a person in your corner like Christopher.
Speaker A:Like, I. I appreciate you for that.
Speaker A:Like, I'm trying not to cry, so.
Speaker A:And I did not want this to go this way.
Speaker A:I. I like, for real, I'm sitting you.
Speaker A:I don't know if you can see it.
Speaker A:I, like, I. I hide it.
Speaker A:I hide it.
Speaker A:I think I hide it well.
Speaker A:And I know these things, you know, and these are the things I say to other people.
Speaker A:So it's not often it's said to me, but it's also not often I express this to other people.
Speaker A:And so, like, it is like I am in this pivot, this transformation.
Speaker A:This is what this season is doing for me.
Speaker A:Like, I adore what it's doing for you.
Speaker A:I adore what it's doing for everybody else.
Speaker A:And I think that we all need to stop comparing our journey to someone else else.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:It's individual and unique.
Speaker A:You know, like.
Speaker A:Like I.
Speaker A:Like I said before, we are all on one path, just different journeys.
Speaker A:And that path is from life to death, but it's your journey as you walk it.
Speaker A:And the more I do what I do in these moments, the more I realize that there is more for me to do.
Speaker A:And I'm going to do, do.
Speaker B:That due diligence that you do so well.
Speaker A:You know, and not just do.
Speaker A:Sidebar.
Speaker A:Ladies and gentlemen, if you have a place of business, can you please make sure that your toilet paper is stocked up?
Speaker A:For those of us who need toilet paper, it is really agitated where I have to now walk from one stall with my pants to my ankles after using the last bit of toilet paper to the other one.
Speaker A:And, you know, it's.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:And then the door swings open as you're, like, halfway through my experience today.
Speaker A:At the funeral home.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And, you know.
Speaker A:Okay, so while we're still on the subject of pivoting, okay, let me ask you this.
Speaker A:What is your biggest challenge of the pivot?
Speaker B:I think for me, when it comes to anything, like the pips, the pivot especially, but when it comes to anything, it's always the unknown.
Speaker B:The unknown is the biggest challenge for me.
Speaker B:I thrive in spaces of guarantee.
Speaker B:I thrive in spaces where it's like, I know if I do this, this is gonna be the result every single time.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:There's no deference from that.
Speaker B:I. I show up, I do these things.
Speaker B:This is what happens.
Speaker B:It's solid.
Speaker B:I know it, I'm comfortable with it.
Speaker B:It's what's expected.
Speaker B:I know that I can, like, bank my time on that.
Speaker B:But when it comes to the pivot, when it comes to making changes, when it comes to stepping outside of your comfort zone, it's that fear of, I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen.
Speaker B:I'm honestly, like, kind of trying some different shit so that I can get some different results.
Speaker B:But ultimately, like, this is not a tried and true method.
Speaker B:So at this point, I have to face the idea that there are no guarantees.
Speaker B:And I'm kind of.
Speaker B:As much as I'm trying to be strategic, as much as I'm trying to plan, as much as I'm trying to, like, kind of create spaces of order and organization, I'm winging it.
Speaker B:I don't really know what I'm doing, and that is really, really scary.
Speaker B:So I think the biggest challenge is, like, facing the idea that you don't really necessarily know what the outcome is going to be, but that you're striving and seeking it anyway because, you know, what you've been doing up until this point has gotten you to a point as to where either you're not happy or you're uncomfortable or you just hit a wall.
Speaker A:It's so crazy, because the complete opposite for me, really.
Speaker A:I. I thrive in the unknown.
Speaker A:I, I.
Speaker A:Because I thrive in, like, you know, I.
Speaker A:Like, you have an idea of how something's supposed to be.
Speaker A:You know what it.
Speaker A:But you don't know the variables that's going to happen in those moments that can change that.
Speaker A:I thrive in the what ifs.
Speaker A:And so, like, my thing is always the execution of it.
Speaker A:Like, even, like, during this podcast, like, we've talked about this from the very beginning of starting it.
Speaker A:You know, I'm very about, like, execution.
Speaker A:What is the structure itself?
Speaker A:And I'm not a structure.
Speaker A:I'M literally not.
Speaker A:I'm an unstructured, structured individual.
Speaker A:So I live in this chaos and it's, it's like, it's comfortable because I like challenges as they come.
Speaker A:So when they, when everything is going, I know this is going to happen this way and this is going to do it this way, and this is what's going to make sense for me and this is what's going to happen.
Speaker A:So it's like, it becomes boring.
Speaker A:So somebody throw me a curveball so I can know how to act in those moments.
Speaker A:Because I don't know how to act in those moments.
Speaker A:That's like when my, that's when my talent shows.
Speaker A:I've been told when, when things just happen.
Speaker A:You have.
Speaker A:And I've been told this.
Speaker A:I have a way of getting all the ducks in a row as the ducks are falling out the sky versus they're coming down the conveyor belt.
Speaker A:And we just pick them up and put them here.
Speaker A:And pick them up and put them here.
Speaker A:Because after a while, I'm gonna pick them up and put them where the fuck I wanna put them, you know?
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:It's so interesting.
Speaker A:I'm the complete opposite.
Speaker B:I was gonna say.
Speaker B:Nothing is more terrifying for me than to exist in those spaces.
Speaker B:And then interestingly enough, in regard to us being opposites, we are very opposites in regard to what you just said.
Speaker B:Because I am so incredibly structured in every other area of my life you've seen me.
Speaker B:I literally like the way that the OCD shows up for me in every.
Speaker A:Other area of my life.
Speaker A:The way.
Speaker A:So for those of you who have not seen this on any kind of streaming platform as of yet, because we, you know, because of me, it literally his background, he is, is, he'll stop what he's doing because it has to be perfect.
Speaker A:I can't see that because it's, it's on a white paper.
Speaker A:He is showing me his calendar.
Speaker A:He said before that he has his day structured to do from beginning to end.
Speaker A:I used to.
Speaker A:And I do.
Speaker A:I, and so, like, I have, I have four calendars in this house.
Speaker A:Four.
Speaker A:I have a dry eraser board in my kitchen that has not been updated since, since, since my kids were here eating Sunday dinner.
Speaker B:I remember that.
Speaker B:That's been a while.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, that, that.
Speaker A:So that's been at least like two months.
Speaker A:So, like, that's the last time I updated that.
Speaker B:Was that when you did the Cornish end?
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:Yes, I remember that.
Speaker A:I, I, I even have that down.
Speaker A:I even have that to a Part of it where I have, you know, someone who owes everybody money.
Speaker A:I have, like, what they owe people, like, because you owe my kids money, like, pay them and, you know, other things.
Speaker A:And I literally don't.
Speaker A:I don't.
Speaker A:It's like, I know it needs to get done.
Speaker A:I don't like looking at it.
Speaker A:So it doesn't.
Speaker A:It doesn't make me do it.
Speaker A:Just me seeing it, it doesn't make me do it.
Speaker B:But no, I was gonna say I'm unstructured when it comes to this.
Speaker B:I've said it before.
Speaker B:Anytime that we ever come here, like, he already had four topics prepared.
Speaker B:I will literally sit up here, and he'll be like, so what are we even talking about?
Speaker B:And whatever my brain conceptualizes in the moment, that's what we're doing.
Speaker B:It comes.
Speaker B:Well, when it comes to, like, podcasting in general, like, outside of this space, for, like, what I'm doing, you know, separately from this, I'm just so very like, oh, okay.
Speaker B:So we recorded, and I put.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:You know, I. I exported, I posted, and now it's there and it's gone.
Speaker B:I went back just on a whim because I never listen after.
Speaker B:And I went and I listened to.
Speaker B:Not this.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Last week's episode.
Speaker B:It sounds so bad.
Speaker B:I was not connected to the mic in the way that I thought I was.
Speaker B:I had on some beats headphones that were in my ear that were giving off this feedback, and it sounded so bad, and I was like, I could redo it, but guess what?
Speaker B:I went and I posted something on my Instagram story, and I was like, I tried some new headphones.
Speaker B:The audio's off.
Speaker B:But I said what I said, and I kept it moving.
Speaker B:Like, the structure in regards to this for me is just like.
Speaker B:I'm like, yeah, what else?
Speaker B:It is like, the way it works, universe.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And the way it works for me is that I am so.
Speaker A:I know from doing this for so long and, like, understanding.
Speaker A:And this is not to say anything, because this is what.
Speaker A:What works for you is what works for you.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And what works for us.
Speaker A:What works for us.
Speaker A:And what works for me is what works for me.
Speaker A:I understand that there are.
Speaker A:And this is one thing that we was trying to establish for people.
Speaker A:One thing I've never really said is at the very beginning, I was part of the initiation of the Afros and Audios Podcast festival, which is now in its sixth year of creation.
Speaker A:And that was.
Speaker A:It's created by this.
Speaker A:This amazing brother.
Speaker A:His name is Talib Jassier Shout out to him.
Speaker A:And what he did was connect like 40 different podcasters and had them meet.
Speaker A:We did a festival.
Speaker A:We did.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:It was classes.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:We had people from Spotify.
Speaker A:Well, Spotify just really became a thing.
Speaker A:Had people from Spotify, we had people from Gimlet, we had people from different venues, from radio stations.
Speaker A:They came in and we talked.
Speaker A:There was other podcasters I don't know if people are familiar with.
Speaker A:One of my favorite podcasters, with Queen, T, with Queen and Jay.
Speaker A:So we had Janisia there as well as we had Queen there.
Speaker A:And we was looking to have if.
Speaker A:If.
Speaker A:And I said this in our very first episode.
Speaker A:And I wanna.
Speaker A:I wanna backtrack that for a quick second because I only mentioned two episodes at that very beginning, two podcasters.
Speaker A:And I mentioned the read, which will always be mentioned.
Speaker A:And then I mentioned Brilliant Idiots with Andrew Schultz and Charlemagne.
Speaker A:I left out another round with.
Speaker A:With Heaven and Tracy, which was an amazing.
Speaker A:If you don't know who they are, this.
Speaker A:That thing is.
Speaker A:I think it's still available.
Speaker A:It's one of the best podcasts I've ever listened to the two black women who was on buzzfeed back when Quinta was on buzzfeed, and a host of others.
Speaker A:But I'm mad that I. I left out those specific to Queen with T and J.
Speaker A:Also the Strange Fruit, which is offered no days off, which is off of the Grapevine tv.
Speaker A:All these people who live here in New York, who we are all centralized in the same kind of group.
Speaker A:We've all supported each other from the very beginning, as well as the Friend Zone, as well as Jaden xd, you know, all these amazing people.
Speaker A:And so what I've learned is that in order to get the responses and things that you want, especially when it's a collaboration, a collaborative effort.
Speaker A:Effort.
Speaker A:So for you, solo, perfect.
Speaker A:That's how you want to run it.
Speaker A:That it's amazing.
Speaker A:When it's a collaborative effort, we have to make sure that we are both on the same port, we both sound good, all the things are great.
Speaker A:And then if it's not right, we're not going to put it out.
Speaker A:You know, the last episode y' all listen to, I literally was like, I am cutting this down because two like.
Speaker A:But I didn't do that only because of who my co host is.
Speaker A:And so I. I kept this.
Speaker A:I kept as much as I could in.
Speaker A:And then I kept some things that were in there by accident in it, ladies and gentlemen, like the beginning.
Speaker B:Unscripted and authentic and Vulnerable, which is.
Speaker A:Safe space, which I.
Speaker A:Which is.
Speaker A:Which is one thing that I enjoy doing.
Speaker A:Because like I said, when I created the Dear you project, the thing that I love the most about that is I didn't know what each person was writing in their letter until we recorded.
Speaker A:So, like, the conversation that we was having was authentic and nothing else.
Speaker A:Like, I created my questions on the way him listening back to him, I'm like, maybe I should have listened to their letter because maybe I could have had better questions.
Speaker A:But what happens?
Speaker A:And what happens?
Speaker A:Because we don't control impact.
Speaker A:But there's that big word I just said, which is something that I'm working on.
Speaker A:It's the big C word, not the four letter word.
Speaker A:And I see you next Tuesday.
Speaker A:But you know, Janet Jackson's main word, which is control.
Speaker A:I am learning how to relinquish.
Speaker B:I'm a terrible person.
Speaker A:Because when you said Janet Jackson, I.
Speaker B:Was like, the whole time I was thinking.
Speaker B:And then you said Janet accident.
Speaker B:I was like, oh.
Speaker B:And then, no, you said control.
Speaker B:Because all I ever think about is her in the video where she's talking about the eyelashes and she was like, yeah, they were big black feathers.
Speaker A:From the what from what's it going to be?
Speaker B:But control.
Speaker B:Got it.
Speaker A:Control.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So this, in this stage of my pivot, I am learning or finding ways, and this is what my content that I've been consuming is as a control freak, how to be less controlling, how to be less trying to be in charge of the conversation, whether it's between myself and a different person that, you know, the persons that we have been talking about simultaneously, subconsciously and things like that in the past, as well as other people, as well as the conversations I want to have with my mother as well, the conversations I'm having with my friends or my co workers or whoever it is, and just like letting them flow.
Speaker A:That's the, that's the challenge.
Speaker A:I'm learning, you know, I'm trying to learn from the man in flow right here.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And I hope that in some ways that you're learning from me.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So, like, I love, like reciprocal, like reciprocal interactions.
Speaker A:But the last question I have as we come to this, this beautiful mood booster to a close, which I appreciate you for.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Because everybody, I think, is.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:This is also an important conversation for everybody.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:We are now into.
Speaker A:We're almost into the actual season of fall.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Has it started yet?
Speaker A:I think it's this week.
Speaker B:I want to say it's like first week of September.
Speaker B:So Yeah, First.
Speaker B:Second week of September.
Speaker A:No, like the.
Speaker A:No, no, no, no.
Speaker B:Like, first.
Speaker A:First day of.
Speaker A:No, no, it is.
Speaker A:It is the 22nd.
Speaker A:It is the 22nd, because that's.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:That's someone's birthday, and his birthday falls on the.
Speaker A:On the.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The fall equinox.
Speaker B:You know, you are absolutely right.
Speaker B:Why have I. I literally had an argument with somebody about this recently, and I was wrong.
Speaker B:So whoever you were, if you're listening to this.
Speaker B:This, I apologize because I argued you down, that fall had already started, and apparently, you know what?
Speaker B:I'm human.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So go ahead.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:Admitting that you're wrong.
Speaker A:Is that your first step of, like.
Speaker A:Like, it really is.
Speaker A:You have to realize that, hey, I got to change something.
Speaker A:That was not the right way to do it.
Speaker A:But so as we're in this.
Speaker A:In this, like, stage, my last question to you is, what will you do if this pivot doesn't work for you?
Speaker B:Create another pivot.
Speaker A:Amen.
Speaker B:I'm not giving.
Speaker B:I'm not giving up.
Speaker B:And that's ultimately, throughout my lifetime, what it has come down to.
Speaker B:I think on so many instances, it's like, we get kind of.
Speaker B:And I hate that, because mental health is a.
Speaker B:Like, don't you just wish we could all just be happy?
Speaker B:But it's so easy to get in that space of, like, I tried it this way, and it didn't work, and I tried it this way, and it didn't work, and I tried it this way, and it didn't work.
Speaker B:So it must be something wrong with me.
Speaker B:I must be.
Speaker B:Maybe I just can't figure out a way to get it right.
Speaker B:Maybe there's something inherently the matter with me as to where I can't get it right.
Speaker B:But for me, one thing that I've had to depend upon in order for me to, like, just not say fuck at all is the fact that no matter what, no matter how hard things get, no matter where I find myself, no matter how long it takes to get things in order, no matter what challenges I may face, I have to believe, I have to know that on the other side of all of this, everything that I want is possible.
Speaker B:If it wasn't possible, I couldn't even conceptualize it to want it.
Speaker B:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker B:I'm not thinking about, like.
Speaker B:Like a flying dinosaur that I get to ride on through the skies.
Speaker B:I'm thinking about, like, success.
Speaker B:I'm thinking about peace.
Speaker B:I'm thinking about stability.
Speaker B:I'm Thinking about joy, I'm thinking about comfort.
Speaker B:I'm thinking about all the things that are possible within reality that I know that I can have for myself.
Speaker B:So I have to continue to hold on to the faith that it is possible for me.
Speaker B:I cannot give up, no matter what.
Speaker B:As hard as it may be, as tired as I may get, as overwhelmed as I may be sometimes, sometimes as sad and stressed and maybe even depressed as I might find myself, I have to continue to believe.
Speaker B:And based on that belief system.
Speaker B:All right, we pivoted.
Speaker B:We put our all into this pivot.
Speaker B:And the pivot didn't go the way I wanted it to.
Speaker B:So guess what?
Speaker B:We gonna pivot again, slide to the left.
Speaker B:Like whatever that looks like.
Speaker B:We just gotta make it happen.
Speaker B:Because I'm not.
Speaker B:I'm not accepting the fact that what I want can't be possible for me.
Speaker B:Ain't nobody gonna make me.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And so it's so crazy because.
Speaker A:Duh, right?
Speaker A:Like, duh.
Speaker A:I. I've been listening back to some of our previous episodes as well as things that I have written down in my journal, things I have put in my.
Speaker A:My journal that's on my phone and I even reading this, these stickies that I put here.
Speaker A:You know that about me sinking into this abyss.
Speaker A:And I think for me it is center around this four letter word that I have been trying to obtain since it was buried, which is love.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And so for me, I've always said this one thing.
Speaker A:And there's this song by Selena Johnson, who's one of my favorite artists and one of the.
Speaker A:One of the best people I've ever had the pleasure to say.
Speaker A:I know her and she.
Speaker B:I believe in love.
Speaker B:Is that what you're talking about?
Speaker A:I believe in love.
Speaker A:And when I tell you, I'm just going to read this off to you guys.
Speaker A:See, I mean I can.
Speaker A:So whenever she does a concert and she always asks people like, sing it.
Speaker A:Like give me a.
Speaker A:Say a song that she, you know, she'll.
Speaker A:She.
Speaker A:She told.
Speaker A:She told me in a few.
Speaker A:And she told Harvey this.
Speaker A:She said she really already knows what song she's gonna sing.
Speaker A:She's just waiting to hear someone say it and then she'll do it.
Speaker A:But she says it like she's giving people authority.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But it's already.
Speaker A:Because Harvey's one of her photographers.
Speaker A:That's how Harvey and I met.
Speaker A:So this, this song and I every.
Speaker A:Sometimes she sees me, she just points and she already.
Speaker A:I don't even have to say it anymore.
Speaker A:I've seen her nine times, but, you know, been in each other's company more than that.
Speaker A:And literally, she just looks at me, points, and just starts singing the song and it goes.
Speaker A:See, See, it ain't easy for me to open my heart and trust this total stranger But I still believe in love Would never put my heart in any, any danger I just need to find that one who wants to show me how beautiful love can be and even though I am scared I know that it's out there just waiting to set me free Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker A:You know, get into it.
Speaker A:I believe it.
Speaker A:I, I that is one of my favorite songs.
Speaker A:And, and the, the best part of it says, some say that I should be bitter and untrustworthy from all the things that I've been through but why should I turned on love when it's never turned on me?
Speaker A:It's never been true true Just because somebody didn't know how to treat me does not make love to blame it just means I haven't met my ultimate soulmate and for that and for that.
Speaker B:I'm willing to wait.
Speaker A:And so even the podcast that I had with Blair called Willing and Waiting thing, this ties together, which I. Y' all didn't know.
Speaker A:I had another podcast that was talked about celibacy, dating while celibate.
Speaker A:This was years ago.
Speaker A:And just the idea of I want love.
Speaker A:And I know I've been talking, you know, I give up.
Speaker A:I give up.
Speaker A:I'm gonna be alone.
Speaker A:I'm not.
Speaker A:I know I'm a good person.
Speaker A:I know that there's someone out there.
Speaker A:I know that someone is just waiting for me to step outside.
Speaker A:And so they're waiting for me to meet them, just as I am waiting to meet them as well.
Speaker A:So in this pivot, I am challenging myself.
Speaker A:And this was like, I never got to answer this question.
Speaker A:Like, the hard, really hard part about this, I did.
Speaker A:It was the execution.
Speaker A:The execution is literally me taking my black ass outside this fucking house because I've been so good with isolation, but knowing that isolation is not helping.
Speaker A:Like, I'm going to have to probably take Fortnite off of my.
Speaker A:My Xbox or unplug my Xbox for a little bit, you know, disconnect from what has been so safe for me and step outside and go ahead and meet this man that I met earlier today just to have a conversation about things.
Speaker A:I'm not cutting that part out, but, you know, just going outside and meeting people, being in spaces and not worrying about what I look like or, you know, this is just me right now.
Speaker A:Y', all.
Speaker A:And I think there are others out there listening that, that are feel this exact same way.
Speaker A:And I think that's.
Speaker A:I'm so glad that we have a space like this, and I'm so glad that I have a co host that is amazingly understanding and very intuitive to know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it.
Speaker A:And that's what makes, I believe, us, a good team.
Speaker A:And for those of you who are listening to this podcast, we would love to know if you feel the same way, if there's anything that we have ever said that has resonated with you.
Speaker A:You, you know, feel free, reach out the information.
Speaker A:We give that to you at the beginning of the show and at the end of the show.
Speaker A:We'd love to hear from you.
Speaker A:Anything you want to say, add to that.
Speaker B:I want to say.
Speaker B:And I don't know if I've ever said this here, I've said it to you personally and privately, so you are aware, but I love you.
Speaker B:I love you genuinely, and I'm very, very grateful for you.
Speaker B:I appreciate your existence.
Speaker B:I'm so glad that I met you.
Speaker B:I'm so glad that we have connected.
Speaker B:I'm so glad that I get to do this with you.
Speaker B:I'm just so glad to have you as a part of my life, and I'm so grateful and thankful that you exist in this world.
Speaker B:It means a tremendous deal to have people in my life who inspire me and who help me to be better and that help me on a consistent basis as I'm just actively working to be a better person and to feel better about my life and to just, like, continue to grow and develop on my own journey.
Speaker B:So I just want to say that to you.
Speaker B:If I don't say it enough, I definitely should say it more because it's a part of, like, what I truly believe in my heart.
Speaker B:So, yeah, that's what I'll add to that.
Speaker A:With the hard er.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And I think I also want to add this one thing about this podcast.
Speaker A:We all understand that everything that's going on in the world today and the reason why we don't really talk about current events events is because we can be black people, we can be people of color, we can be gay people, we can be whatever and do multiple things at once.
Speaker A:Someone has said to me as they listen to the show, that's why I'm dressing this.
Speaker A:It's a shame that y' all talk about what's going on.
Speaker A:You guys have such great perspectives, and it's because that's not what the space is created for.
Speaker A:There are spaces for that, and that's fine there.
Speaker A:You never know.
Speaker A:A conversation may be created because of something that's going on in the real world.
Speaker A:World.
Speaker A:As far as what's.
Speaker A:What's shown on television to show us that that's what's really going on.
Speaker A:There's other conversations, but we don't do that here, or at least not right now.
Speaker A:So for those of you who come here, we greatly appreciate you as.
Speaker A:As Christopher is about to say about time and where you can spend it, because you.
Speaker A:I love how you say it, so I would love to.
Speaker A:For you to say it one more time.
Speaker A:I'm gonna get a. I'm probably gonna get.
Speaker A:I'm gonna make a. I'm gonna make a voice clip about this.
Speaker B:No, I would like to say that it's.
Speaker B:Your time is valuable, and you can spend it wherever you want to.
Speaker B:So we're always grateful that you, even if only for a little while, you choose to spend it with us podcast, especially within the space of where we are now and how short attention spans can be.
Speaker B:It can be really challenging.
Speaker B:Even if you want to support somebody that you admire, even if you are a tremendous fan of somebody, it can be challenging.
Speaker B:Challenging to sit and listen to somebody talk for an extended period of time without feeling like you're distracted, without getting bored, without getting sleepy, without cutting it off and getting to another place.
Speaker B:So if you've gotten to this point in this episode, if you're still here with us, just know that we appreciate you.
Speaker B:We do not take you for granted.
Speaker B:And it means the world that you choose to share in your presence, in your experience with us.
Speaker B:It's so meaningful, and it's not without massive appreciation and love.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker B:You know.
Speaker A:So, yeah, that's all we got to say.
Speaker A:I hope.
Speaker A:We hope you enjoyed this conversation.
Speaker A:I hope you have decided what you're gonna do with your pivot, because it's time, you know.
Speaker A:What did the Winans say?
Speaker A:It's time.
Speaker A:Time to make a change.
Speaker A:Please tell me you know this song.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:That's why I'm quiet.
Speaker A:You remember the Winans, right?
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker B:I don't remember.
Speaker B:I don't know a lot of their music.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker B:I'm closing it out with I might need an education.
Speaker B:That's okay.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:It's okay.
Speaker A:Shout out to the wine and shout out to.
Speaker A:Shout out to all of you guys ready to make a change and that's it.
Speaker A:Shout out to us.
Speaker A:Peace.
Speaker A:Peace.
Speaker A:So on that note.
Speaker B:If you would like to find us on social media, you can do so on Instagram @waitaweta.
Speaker B:What are we even talking about?
Speaker B:Acronym podcast.
Speaker B:So that is WAWITA podcast.
Speaker B:If you want to send us an email, questions, comments, concerns, you can do so@wawita.castgmail.com that is W A WWE T A.cast Gmail.com.
